This is My Human Concern
By Amber L. Moore
Over this past year I’ve had a lot of laughs regarding Trump, Hilary, and the future of our country. I’m not a huge fan of Hilary and when Bernie fell out of the picture I knew it couldn’t be Trump (because that was just a big joke) and it would just be politics as usual. We wouldn’t see the big change that many of us dreamt of.
Turns out, some people liked the Trump-Aid (really?!) That concept scares me. Politics aside, he scares me as a human being and the recent audio release from the 2005 Access Hollywood recordings was the tipping point. Hearing Trump in those recordings brought up some painful stuff. I realize that it’s not just about him. Ultimately, it’s about those who support him regardless of what he says. Here goes…
When I was a child there was an older man in the neighborhood, the ‘cool’ one; loud, funny, trendy, cool car, had $$, etc. He liked to corner and grope women while his wife and kids weren’t looking. Possibly little girls too, as he seemed to like games where he picked us up and his hand accidentally slipped. “Oops!” I knew enough at ten years old to make distractions after that to keep myself and other girls I was with away from him. I didn’t know enough then to report him.
From a young age I’ve been gawked, hollered, followed, whistled and cat called at on a daily basis.
In junior high school my male teacher told me I was pretty and didn’t need to be smart and I could have any man I wanted.
In high school my male teacher would ask me if I thought I was sexy and make me come behind his desk if I had questions or needed help.
I was told by older men that I shouldn’t wear too much makeup or dress so provocative. That I was only “asking for it”.
I’ve been on dates where I’ve been pinned up against a car and hands shoved down my pants…without my consent.
I’ve fallen down a flight of stairs when I tried to get away from a supervisor who felt he could feel me up in the break room.
I’ve been followed, harassed and I’ve had to resort to getting a restraining order on male security guard for following me and taking pictures of me.
My car has been broken into, left with dirty notes and nude photos with explanations of what a man would like to do to me.
I’ve been on a date with the “star”. The one the town loves and when I said “No” he covered my mouth and turned my head.
I’ve been on dance floors where men have surrounded me and attempted to finger me without consent.
I’ve been slipped date rape drugs.
I’ve had my ass grabbed, breasts squeezed, and I’ve been kissed without my consent by entitled, rich older men and young ignorant men too.
I have been thrown out of a car, locked in a bathroom, a bedroom. I’ve been hit, punched, spit on, and bitten. I’ve even had a dick forced and slapped across my face and I’ve been made to apologize for fighting back for myself.
I’ve been told that I’m not good enough, no one will love me, and that I don’t get to say no. I’ve been told that I can have everything I’ve ever wanted. Money by rich, entitled, narcissistic men as long as I stay a size 2, know my place, and keep it bent over.
I’ve been followed and threatened more times than I can count through the years. I’ve had women blame me for what their boyfriends, husbands, dads, brothers, & sons have done or said because it was easier for them to turn a blind eye and protect themselves from the man. Blame the woman and have her disappear.
Over the years it’s been my friends, family, and even some strangers that have kept me level-headed, strong, supported and helped me accept that being pretty was not a one-way ticket to sexual assaults, sexual harassment, and abuse, and that not all men treat women this way. I’m soon to be 35 years old and still those men are out there. They creep along everywhere I go. But the good men around outshine. I hold faith in them to continue loving and respecting themselves, their partners and families.
So many young girls and women accept these unhealthy encounters and relationships as their “place” in life because they don’t have the strong support systems and tools to get away from it. For those I speak of that supported me, that were there alongside me, for those that were there but didn’t really know the details but helped me stay strong. You didn’t let me accept or settle for those men. How could you accept and settle for one now in the White House?
Politics aside, and truly if you put politics aside. Is Trump really the MAN you want your daughters and sons to look up to as a role model? Because as president, no matter what you feel politically, our children are impressionable and they idolize that position. From where I’m sitting, he’s not only the man my loved ones have helped me protect myself from, he’s the man I still encounter and will not accept or tolerate.
I’m not sharing to politically “Up” Hillary or talk emails and walls. This is my human concern. There are women out there every day struggling to get through being sexually harassed and sexually abused. Women who fear loving the next man. We cannot let our young children look up to a vulgar racist, loud mouthed bigot, and misogynist. This type of man cannot be in charge of our great country.